The Cost of Social Camouflage in Autism

May 4

Author: Mokshvi Shah, BS Northeastern University Student

Published: May 2024

Why Masking Feels Safer But Comes at a Price

Many autistic individuals have learned to become experts in one particular survival skill: camouflaging. Also known as masking, social camouflage refers to the often unconscious effort autistic people make to hide or suppress their traits in order to “fit in” with neurotypical expectations. This might look like forcing eye contact, mimicking facial expressions, scripting conversations, or holding in stims (like hand-flapping, rocking, or fidgeting). On the surface, masking can make it easier to navigate social situations, but underneath, it can take an enormous emotional and psychological toll.

What Does Social Camouflage Look Like?

Masking can be subtle or intense. It often begins in childhood, sometimes without conscious awareness. Some common examples include:

Rehearsing responses before speaking
Mimicking others’ tone, gestures, or expressions
Suppressing natural movements or stimming
Forcing oneself to tolerate sensory discomforts (e.g., bright lights, loud noises)
Hiding confusion or sensory overwhelm in social settings
Overanalyzing every interaction after it happens

While these behaviors may help someone “pass” as neurotypical, they’re not without consequences.

Why People Mask

Masking is often a survival mechanism. Many autistic individuals report being bullied, misunderstood, or punished for being “different.” They may have learned, consciously or not that their authentic behavior is seen as “too much,” “weird,” or “wrong.” So they adapt. They watch, study, and perform. And often, they succeed, at a cost.

The Hidden Costs of Masking

Masking can lead to:

Exhaustion and burnout
Keeping up the mask takes constant effort, often resulting in physical and mental fatigue.
Loss of identity
When so much time is spent trying to appear “normal,” it can be hard to know what your authentic self even looks like.
Increased anxiety and depression
The pressure to fit in, combined with internalized shame, can lead to long-term mental health struggles.
Delayed diagnosis or misdiagnosis
Many autistic people go undiagnosed because they’ve learned to mask so well that their traits aren’t recognized.
Strained relationships
Feeling like you can’t be yourself, or constantly worrying about being “found out,” can make relationships feel unsafe or inauthentic.

Unmasking and Healing

Healing begins with understanding. Recognizing the mask is the first step toward gently, safely exploring life beyond it. Unmasking doesn’t mean abandoning all coping tools overnight. It means creating space to honor your needs, express your traits, and move through the world more authentically. This process is deeply personal, and often emotional. Therapy can be an important part of this journey. In a neurodiversity-affirming environment, you can explore:

What masking has looked like for you
How it has helped and hurt you
What it might feel like to unmask in safe, affirming spaces
How to build a life that honors your neurotype

You Deserve to Be Fully Seen

If you’ve been camouflaging for years or decades you might not even know where the mask ends and you begin. But underneath all the effort and exhaustion is someone deeply worthy of rest, authenticity, and acceptance.